Tuesday, March 10, 2009


Things should be getting back to normal, hopefully. Although normalcy is not one of my finer points. Sofia should be starting full time in a day care center again. Two hundred and fifteen dollars a week… Yeah I’m broke just thinking about it. But its good for her, good for us. It gives her the structure that she needs in her life, and the break I need. We did not deal well with the irregularities of home care. She needed a more structured learning environment, more stimulation, and less television. She already watches enough television at home, let alone have her watch seven hours of television at daycare too… Way too much TV overload. Sometimes I wonder why her brain isn’t mush from the television.

I need to find some sort of structured activity for Sofia to attend during the week. Something like sports, or dance, activity of some sort. Something that is self reliant, I don’t think I could handle mommy&me/parental involvement classes. I need something where I can drop her off then go out in the parking lot to study/do homework or even just collect my thoughts.

Potty training too, we need to get on board with that. I feel like if I have to change another 6 months of diapers I am going to scream. She always tells me she poops/pees after I change her diaper not before! She’ll be like mommy I pooped or mommy I peed change me. Never mommy I’m going to poop/pee lets go potty. She pooped in the tub the other night, she stood up and started pooping… Ugh. Seriously I had to scrub down the tub, and put all of her bath toys in the dishwasher to be sanitized.

I’m not sure where my motivation went from last semester but its official I lost it. I attempted 23 credits, and completed 20. Achieved academic standing on the Presidents List… And now what I can barely bribe myself into going to class. I hate it here, I hate SUNY Albany. It is so depressing. I feel like there is no need for me to go to class, or study. I hate feeling like this, seriously this feeling needs to stop. I am making plans to change schools for the fall semester. I just need to stick it out for the rest of this semester and drag my ass to class. I hate the feeling of forcing myself to go to class it is probably one of the worst feelings I’ve experienced in awhile. I’d rather go out and run five miles than go to class. I also realized I hate marketing. So in my search of a new school and program I’m trying to find a program that focuses on management not so much marketing. Russell Sage seems to be my best bet for schools in the area. Smaller classes, more personalized program.

I need to start going to the gym again… Yeah motivation, not sure where I lost it. But I’m hoping I’ll find it again some time really soon.

2 comments:

  1. AAAh!!! To the pooping in the tub! I HATE poop this week, let me tell you. We are trying to potty train, too and every time she tries to poop on the potty, it ends up as the biggest disaster!

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  2. Hi Amanda - I found you through lisaflip turn on twitter, I've liked your story - I promise I'm not a creeper - well maybe a little since I read your blog - ha ha - just a harmless one who's old enough to be your dad - I'm a university prof. and I have a child of my own - he is 16! He was big on TV and the computer and needed the day care time off too and it worked fine - I applaud your decision. They grow up so fast you will not believe it. Anyway, just wishing you luck and the strength to get through the semester - you are a strong person and an inspiration. I had a single mother student with two make it through with honors too - you'll do it. Stay strong. :)
    -
    Dan

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